2/11/2020 3 Comments
1. God is always faithful and has always been faithful and will always be faithful.
13 years ago a 20-something year old girl worked three jobs to keep her apartment warm, lit and well stocked with food for her and her tiny daughter of 2 years. She prayed often in tears at the end of her bed wondering how, even with the jobs she would stay above the waves. Her rent was pending a late status and the weeks only allowed for so many working hours. She prayed He would provide.
Payday arrive at the 9-5 lawyers office and two checks were placed into her open palm. Two checks. One the weekly wages agreed upon from the start, the other a bonus check for a case recently won. Provision.
This happened two more times during the years she spent in that office, something she was later told had only occurred while she was employed there.
This story, my story often comes back to me and I remember the faithfulness of God then and now and forever.
2. Surrendering my heart daily to His will is a sure-fire way to be filled completely - hands, heart and home.
Morning by morning the stack of books, mug of coffee and bearded lineman accompany me by the living room fire, and like the t-shirt I often wear says, "hands full, heart full, house full, van full", my life reflects it's truth. And on those mornings when my head is in the game and I rhythmically turn my empty hands upward surrendering all I claim my own, knowing it's all His to use as He pleases, I am surprisingly filled.
Sweet surrender - not so sweet when surrendering that which I want to hold tightly. But time afterward proves God never leaves hands or heart surrendered, empty and open, bleeding or grasping. In fact He fills those gentle spots of letting go with His spirit - the fullness thereafter is far more complete than those greedy fingertips or ever hungering heart could hold.
3. The big picture is bigger than I can picture. "The heart of a man plans his way but God directs His steps." Proverbs 16:9
Documents of great importance lost. Sensitive information up for grabs and I can do nothing but pray that they'll be recovered in safety. Hours pass and my heart treads between open waters of grace and thinning ice cracking beneath my anxiety. God hears the prayers and calms the sweaty palms. It's all in His plan, though to look at it you'd think otherwise. This incident means a meeting must be postponed, a deadline missed. It's not until the lesson is learned, the blessing revealed that the papers are found. Safe in the place least expected but now makes complete sense given the day they were last in hand.
Found like the words that slid from my mouth that day to the man on the front lines, the words that stung and ripped a little part of his already torn heart. Words I wish were lost on the air in his empty garage where I spent my morning searching an old filing cabinet, hoping.
Had I known those papers neatly straightened and fastened with a black binder clip hidden between fridge top and cupboard floor would prove the fruit not yet ripened in my heart of my second 'thing' written in this blog. Surrender.
Surrender because God's ideas for me cannot be mapped out with my GPS. His love reaches down so heavily He cannot, WILL NOT allow a good tree to produce piddly fruit. His love's so grand he runs toward an opportunity to prune and cut away all that's hindering growth, His pursuit so steady His hand of correction tailgates His arm of embrace.
A lesson I'll take with me forever, applying to all my surrendered mornings, palms up empty fists this time being summoned to receive the forgiveness offered.
Weeks pass and order falls on all that's out of my control reminding me of His faithfulness to my surrendered heart and the unfinished mural He has for my life. Pages are turned in our read aloud as persistently as the days pass. We live more, love more, and lean in a whole lot more, and I do not forget his Faithfulness to my surrendered heart.
"It is wonderful what miracles God works in wills that are utterly surrendered to Him. He turns hard things into easy and bitter things into sweet. It is not that He puts easy things in the place of the hard, but He actually changes the hard thing into an easy one." -Hannah Whitall Smith
2/12/2020 04:36:01 am
God has done a wonderful thing in you! His live is never ending for us. ❤️
2/13/2020 04:10:25 am
E., you have such a way with words and this is beautiful!
2/14/2020 01:49:17 pm
I love you, your writing and your bearded hero!
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"My life passes as swiftly as the evening shadows. I am withering away like grass." Psalm 102:11